10 songs that changed the game for me

So, if you don't know, I started this blog back in January as something I had genuinely wanted to do, something I had tried doing a year prior but couldn't find the time or motivation to keep up with. But this blog ended up becoming a major project for a class of mine, and this post is the official last post I'm doing while in that class. However, it will (hopefully) not be the last post I ever make, as I've really built something here I'm proud of and want to continue. So while maybe the frequency might fall from posting every week, I hope to keep posting for as long as I can.

Over the last couple months, I've pretty much refrained from getting personal in any post, but I decided now is apparently a perfect time to do exactly that. So bear with me while I kind of bare my soul here.

Music, like for most of you probably, has influenced my life in ways I can’t really start to explain. There are songs that sent me down a journey, and there are songs that quite frankly may have had a major role in saving my life at some points. So here's ten songs that changed the game for me. This is going to be a pretty long one, so strap in.

1. “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time” | Panic! At the Disco

The spring of my junior year in high school, 2017, my brother, Avery, and his friend had an extra ticket to see Panic! At the Disco on their Death of a Bachelor Tour at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois. At the time, I really only knew their main singles and roughly nothing about the band. Avery and I didn’t really listen to a lot of the same music then, but we were close enough and I knew his friend, so I got invited.

The concert was a Saturday and I had badminton practice that morning, so Avery gave me their CD of Death of A Bachelor to play in our trusty old car who we had named Old Blue Fred (rest in peace). If you know that album, you’ll hopefully know “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time” is track number two. I found myself playing that track on repeat. It was only about a two and a half song drive from my house to my high school, so all I got through was “Victorious” and then “Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time” about four times. So by the time we went to the concert that night, I had only learned one more song of theirs.

But, man, that concert launched a passion for music and live shows I hadn’t had before. I had gone to a handful of shows prior to (Daughtry and Lifehouse in 2010, Fantabuloso in 2012, Imagine Dragons in 2015, and Marianas Trench in 2015 -- that's it), but I genuinely don’t remember a lot from them – I mean I literally forget Fantabuloso was a thing my mom and I did and I actually just learned that Adam Lambert was there? I swear every

time I think of that show I learn of a new artist that played it that year. Wild.

Brendon Urie playing "This Is Gospel" on the piano, March 2017

But this Panic! at the Disco show is completely different. The three of us were on the floor – way in the

back, but still on the floor. At one point, I was like eight feet from Brendon Urie (this was during “This Is Gospel” where he played it on the piano in the middle of the crowd).

And it’s that entire experience that launched me into a journey I’m still on. It triggered something in me and sent me down a long path of discovering new music. Did this song or this band save my life? Not directly, no. But it created a fire in me that, quite frankly, I don’t know who I would be without.

So, yeah, for me, this song created a major change in my life, consciously or not, and, while it was one of the first to do so, it would not be the last.

2. “Crossroads” | I Prevail

I’m going to be honest; a number of their songs could’ve made this list -- they’re my favorite band of all time for a reason. But ultimately, it’s a combination of my story with the song, and theirs.

I discovered I Prevail my senior year of high school and immediately fell in love. Like I became absolutely obsessed with their music. Old Blue Fred could handle six CDs but I only needed two: one for I Prevail’s first EP, Heart Vs. Mind, and one for their first full length album, Lifelines. It was all I listened to for a while. And, jumping the gun here, that was true again in 2019 when they dropped their second full length, TRAUMA.

But back to “Crossroads.” It wasn’t the first song I heard by them, no. Fittingly, the first song I heard by them was the first one they ever released – their cover of “Blank Space” (which is certified platinum). When I discover new artists, I tend to jump through their music videos first – you really learn a lot about an artist or band by the singles they choose to put out and the music videos they create with them. When I reached the music video for “Crossroads” – I think it was maybe like the third or fourth one I saw – I was stunned. I probably watched in dozens of times in a row. To be perfectly clear, it’s not a stunning music video. It’s pretty much just the guys on tour, goofing off and performing. It’s wholesome, it’s simple, it makes me smile and laugh and quite frankly, it’s one of my favorite music videos of all time (trust me, I’ve got a list). But the real reason I kept listening to it was because it reached something in me I didn’t realize was possible to be reached. Senior year was rough, to say the least, and this song just seemed to make things better. Because it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Did it cure my depression? By all means, no. But, man, the feeling of not being alone changes everything. For once, I was actually feeling somewhat hopeful because of it.

So now, flash forward, in 2019, I Prevail was nominated for two Grammys (nominated in 2019, but for the 2020 Grammys, to clarify because for some reason this sometimes trips me up), and although they didn’t win either, they had never expected to be nominated in the first place. Plus, it landed them on the cover of Rock Sound magazine. And wow, I was incredibly excited for that issue. I’m someone who likes reading about the bands I love. I love learning their stories, learning about them, how they write music, what special meanings their songs have to them, that kind of stuff. So when that package came in from the UK you can bet the first thing I did was sit down and read the cover story. What does this have to do with “Crossroads,” you might ask? Well, in it, they talk about recording their first EP in a storage unit – no label backing, not really any funds, just giving making music one last chance. After finishing their EP, they recorded a cover of “Blank Space” and put it out first, in an effort to gain some sort of public presence before dropping the EP. And the timing was incredible -- Taylor Swift had just removed all her stuff from Spotify and all you could find when you searched “Blank Space” was their cover. And it blew up. It ended up actually making the EP.

But anyways, from there, they got a record deal with Fearless Records and they started touring with the EP launch. While they were touring, they had fans telling them how much “Crossroads” meant to them. And that was when they really realized that they were on to something and that their music could really do something for people.

So “Crossroads” taught me the full force of the power of music. And it taught them that too. And they really wielded that power of music with TRAUMA, let me tell you. Which is pretty cool. If you don’t understand what I might mean by that, I encourage you to listen to the song. Otherwise, I’ll leave you with the pre-chorus:

“Though you may walk alone / You're worth more than you know”

3. “The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry)” | AS IT IS

To be quite honest, the first time I saw AS IT IS in concert was in 2017 when they were on Waterparks’ Made In America Tour. I had no idea who they were or any of their songs.

But fast forward several months, AS IT IS had just recently put out their first single from their third studio album, The Great Depression, called “The Wounded World.” I had seen their single everywhere on my socials, I think in particular, Rock Sound was talking about it a lot. My interest was piqued after a while and I caved and listened to it and then I found myself delving into the rest of their discography. Not too long after, they dropped their second single from the album, “The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry).” This one, this one I didn't waste any time on.

And all I can remember thinking is ‘holy shit.’

Look, I’ve always known music can be influential and it can be powerful. There’s a part of me that’s always known that, just not necessarily to its full extent. And “The Stigma (Boys Don’t Cry)” helped open my eyes. I had listened to songs in the past that dealt with mental health, dealt with concepts of depression. But not to the extent that this song does. It’s not just about depression, but about toxic masculinity, about the toxic judgement and silent expectations that men are forced to endure. It’s about that stupid phrase “be a man.” And that was really the first time I had heard that side of things in a song. It doesn’t just take on toxic masculinity, but, as hinted at the end of its music video, it takes on gender expectations as a whole. It was a refreshing take in music that I don’t think gets talked about enough.

But it wasn’t just that. It was everything they did after launching the single, everything they did paired with the album. They did so much to back up their words. It’s one thing to say these things in your songs, or on your socials or on stage, it’s a completely different thing to put it into action too. They took their words “Stay strong, hold on” and brought them to life. They donated proceeds to mental health organizations like Hope for the Day. On Warped Tour in 2018, lead singer Patty Walters gave hosted a TEI (The Entertainment Institute) workshop alongside Hope for the Day that was just a conversation on mental health. They continue to speak out. It wasn’t just a theme for the album cycle, it’s something they fully believe in and continue to discuss and act on. They created a community of people and music listeners who were there for each other. They demonstrate that music is so much more than something you listen to. Music, if we let it, truly has the power to change the world.

AS IT IS taught me that.

4. “Caraphernelia” | Pierce the Veil

I’m going to be honest, this one’s going to be less deep than the previous three. But it still is very meaningful for me. Why?

I discovered Pierce the Veil very early in my senior year of high school (well, early in the year, definitely not early in terms of their career). I found them through All Time Low’s “A Love Like War” which features Pierce the Veil’s lead vocalist Vic Fuentes. I was intrigued by his voice and I was really in the height of my finding new music, so I decided to listen to some of their music. It was the first songs I had ever truly listened to that included screaming. To be honest, that had been more of my brother’s thing, not mine. But I fell in love, and ironically, it’s now more my thing than Avery’s.

I don’t know if “Caraphernelia” was the first one I heard by them, but it’s definitely one of the first. Weirdly enough, most of the screaming isn’t even Fuentes like it usually is, but instead Jeremy McKinnon, lead singer of A Day to Remember.

I remember going into it not knowing what to expect because I only knew of them from Fuentes' feature, and he definitely wasn’t going to scream in an All Time Low song, so I didn’t really know that was what I was walking into. But I decided fuck it, let’s just go for it. I’ll admit, I was taken aback at first. Part of me probably wanted to hate it, but I couldn’t get myself to. It just worked so well. And it sounded so good. And I was honestly so impressed like I can’t scream normally, so metal screaming, well, damn, that’s impressive.

No sugar coating, I was afraid of getting into screamo music because, well, it’s screaming, you know? I didn’t think it could work. But once I ripped the band-aid off and went for it, it opened my eyes to a hell of a lot of good music. A lot of my favorite bands – I Prevail, A Day to Remember, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping with Sirens, Bring Me the Horizon, Ice Nine Kills, Wage War and oh, so, so many more – scream. A lot of bands I can attribute getting me through a lot of tough shit scream. Because, quite frankly, I find that those types of bands don’t hold anything back. They’re honest, they’re raw and they’re real. Not saying you have to scream to be those things, because you definitely don’t. But there’s a barrier that screamo and post-hardcore don’t have that a lot of other genres have. Maybe it’s because they’re most versatile, can do more things. Maybe it’s because they tend to care less what other people think of them. Maybe it’s because they’re there to break the mold anyways. I don’t know what it is. But there’s just something about the genre as a whole that changed the game for me. In the best way possible.

(Also, on a sidenote, the best concerts I’ve ever been to are that of screamo / post-hardcore bands. So that’s also a major plus.)

5. “dread” | nothing,nowhere

nothing,nowhere was always going to make this list, I’m not going to lie. For a lot of reasons. He introduced me to a whole new genre of music, emo rap, and opened me up to just rap in general. The first song I ever heard by him was “Nevermore,” which made me cry on the first listen, which is a rare feat that he managed to accomplish again with his new album Trauma Factory. “Nevermore” could’ve easily been the song on this list, but in another sense, I truly think it has to be “dread.”

In 2018, nothing,nowhere cancelled a tour to seek help with his anxiety and depression. He was gone for a while, and when he returned, he returned with “dread.” It tells the story of his past several months, leading up to the decision to cancel a tour and then following that. It’s beyond just being honest. nothing,nowhere really opened up. He bore his soul for the world to see. He didn’t hold back, not in the song, not in its music video. He puts it all out there. I remember being amazed listening to it for the first time. And honestly it still amazes me.

In his lyrics and his melodies, nothing,nowhere tells his own story. He didn’t have to, not by any means. He didn't owe that to anyone. But he did anyways. He used his music as an outlet for himself, but also to connect with his listeners, and to tell his own story for anyone who might need to hear it. “dread” taught me the power of music as a means to telling a story. And yes, okay, I knew that before, having listen to a lot of albums and songs that do just that. But to tell one’s own story, one that’s not by any means happy or encouraging or uplifting, that’s a whole other art all in itself.

6. “Missing You” | All Time Low

This, for me, is an interesting one. On its own, “Missing You” is by far one of All Time Low’s most powerful and meaningful songs. But most of the songs I have a deep appreciation for are also powerful and meaningful, so that in itself wasn’t going to be enough to make the list.

The reason it did though, is because of the impact that seeing it live had on me. I’ve seen All Time Low twice, both times in 2018. At the time, especially with the first show, I was still relatively new to concerts. By the second one, which was in December, I had seen a lot of shows between the two. The first one was in April, a post-game show for a minor league hockey team in Milwaukee. All Time Low was playing Lollapalooza that year, and that show somehow got around the location clause in the Lollapalooza contract. My brother and I were on the “floor” – which was carpet on top of ice. I remember that show like it was yesterday. It wasn’t a full set, there were no openers (unless you count a hockey game as an opener) but wow, what a time. The second was a Christmas show they played in Chicago. I remember very clearly at both shows when they played “Missing You.”

The venues, whether that hockey arena, or House of Blues Chicago, lit up. Everyone had their phone flashlights out, swaying with the song, and screaming the lyrics back at the band (see not-great-quality video to the right from December 2018). It was unifying. It’s a song that means so much to the majority of their listeners. It’s a song that brings them together. And it’s incredibly powerful to see it live. To this day, it’s one of my favorite live moments.

The song feels like a friend. That might sound so cheesy to you, but I cannot think of a more perfect way to describe it. I mean listen to those words:

“And if you need a friend, / I'll help you stitch up your wounds.”

When you have an entire venue screaming those words, really any of those words in the song, it’s hard to not really feel it. To not feel like you’re surrounded by hundreds or thousands of friends. Even if you’ve never met them before, and even if you’ll never see them again. You’re all there right then and there and that’s all you need.

To see this song live is a reminder of how music connects us all. And it’s a live show moment I will never take for granted.

7. “Sometimes You’re the Hammer, Sometimes You’re the Nail” | A Day to Remember

To be honest, I can't tell you the exact moment I fell in love with this song. It was by far not the first A Day to Remember song I heard (that title actually surprisingly goes to "It's Complicated") and honestly the first time I probably heard it was my senior year of high school in my video arts class. But I don't think it ever truly stuck with me until my sophomore year of college.

Every lyric in that song means something to me. Frankly, there's not many songs I can say that about. Every single lyric means something unique to me, whether it be inspiring, comforting, or understood.

If you were to ask me to name a song that gives you a good understanding as to who I am as a person, without hesitation, it would be "Sometimes You're the Hammer, Sometimes You're the Nail." The lyric

"Cast your stones, cast your judgement, you don't make me who I am."

is legitimately my motto. It's unashamedly my Instagram bio. While every lyric in that song means something to me, that lyric in particular means everything to me. So I might not have a story to go along with this one, but quite frankly, I don't need one. I've just never heard a song represent and reflect me and my values as a person more than this one. I've never heard it written so succinctly. And that's such a unique feeling.

8. “Halo” | Boston Manor

Boston Manor was one of the first punk bands I fell in love with. And I discovered them because their music video for “Halo” came up as an ad on YouTube. I decided to watch it through and that’s a decision I cannot say I regret.

They’re just such an interesting band, I’m not going to lie. Their sound is so fascinating and ever-changing, while still giving the punk vibes. And, believe it or not, they’re not from Boston, rather Blackpool, UK. I don’t know if I can perfectly describe to you why they’re so fascinating to me. They just are.

They’re not a big band, by any means. But they tackle such powerful things. They don’t write about just anything. Their 2018 album Welcome to the Neighbourhood, was centered on their hometown Blackpool. It focused on the problems they’ve seen plague the town. It was so focused on this place they knew so well, but it was that focus that made it relatable and allowed people from all over the world connect to it, even if they’ve never heard of Blackpool before.

“Halo,” for example, is a song about addiction. It’s about being stuck in a cycle of addiction and not seeing a way out. Blackpool had (or has, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure) a major drug problem, and while that’s where the inspiration for this song came from, it’s not the only city, and there’s people across the globe who can relate.

I fell in love with everything about the song and then about the band. The imagery, for one, in both the music video and the lyrics. For two, both the explicit and implicit meaning behind the lyrics. Yeah, it's explicitly about a heroin addiction, but it applies to any and all addiction, deadly or not.

Boston Manor demonstrated to me what punk is exactly. Are they the exact definition of punk in sound? No. But they write about relevant social and political issues. They're incredible songwriters who can take local issues and write about it on a scale that hits home to people across the globe. They can take national and international issues and write about them in really unique and hard-hitting ways. But for the proof of that, you'd have to turn to their 2020 album, GLUE (which, by the way, was my album of the year last year). Their songwriting is so powerful on song after song and their sound is ever-changing. They're not afraid to tackle anything. They're vocal. And I love them for that.

9. Enough for Now | The Fray

The Fray was the first band to save my life. They were the first band I ever fell hopelessly in love with. The first band I ever owned every single album for. The first band I ever knew every song by. The first band I ever fell in love with that felt like all my own. Most importantly, to circle back, The Fray was the first band to save my life.

And unfortunately somewhere along the way, sometime after their last full length album Helios (2014), I fell out of touch with them. I hadn't really realized that until last year, my sophomore year of college.

That year was...a rough one, to say the least. It felt like a lot of my life was falling apart around me and that there was, quite frankly, nothing I could do about it. And somehow, as if the universe knows what I needed, all of those feelings brought me right back to The Fray. And it was like I never lost touch. I still remembered every album, every lyric to every song. It all flooded back to me, and it felt like reconnecting with an old friend. I felt at home and at ease and understood. Most importantly, I remembered how every song made me feel and was able to feel those emotions wash over me.

With the exception of one song.

"Enough for Now" has always been a song that I've loved, even way back when I was younger. But when I heard it again last year, I broke down in tears -- a reaction I had never had to the song before. Because, for some reason or another, it resonated with me so much more strongly as a 19 year old and now as a 20 year old, than it had when I was in middle school. I say "for some reason" but I do actually know why, but quite honestly, this isn't the time or place.

The song, in this chapter of my life, means the world to me. I'm tearing up typing this, listening to the song, right now.

To be more honest, if I were to tell you right now the number one band I would see in concert right now if COVID allowed, I would probably say to your face I Prevail. But know that truly, honestly, in the back of my head, I want to say The Fray. I've seen I Prevail three times already, and I know I'll be able to see them again. But I've never had the chance to see The Fray. And right now, frankly, I want nothing more than to be able to. And unfortunately, I have absolutely no clue when the next chance I might have will be, if there ever is one. If it isn't clear why I would want to so much, I said it twice earlier, and I'll say it again:

The Fray was the first band to save my life.

10. Demons | Imagine Dragons

I was in sixth grade when I first heard "Demons." Imagine Dragon's Night Visions was one of the first CDs I owned myself, and one of the first albums I can remember listening to in totality, from front to back. I remember the feeling of falling in love with every song on that album. To little 11-year-old me, that shit was everything. Maybe I couldn't relate to all of it, no, and maybe I didn't really understand all of it, but that didn't really matter to me at the time.

But I fell in love with "Demons" almost instantaneously. The thing is, I know I was in middle school, and middle schoolers tended to be insecure and whatever, but at the time I don't think I really related to the song, really truly fully understood the magnitude of it. But I remember specifically thinking how beautiful it is and how one day I was going to need to hear it.

And I was right. The insecurities never really hit me in full force until high school. And when it did, when I was at the peak of battling my own demons back then, this song was there for me every step of the way. It reminded me that I'm not alone, that everyone has demons that they're battling, you just don't always get to see them. And that, to me, was the scariest thing about depression, especially when I was at the worst of my own -- that you just never know, you never know what someone else is thinking or feeling. And if I was having one of my better days or one of my worst, this song reminded me of that too.

To this day, it still stands as a reminder that you're not as alone as you think you are, that you are heard and understood, and that you never know what other people are going through. Knowingly or unknowingly, that reminder has rubbed off in the way I treat the people around me. And I will always be appreciative of this song for that.

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There you have it, ten songs that changed the game for me. Ten songs that will always have a special place in my heart. They helped shape me into the person I am, helped teach me things I needed to learn, helped put things into words I didn't know how to, helped broaden my horizons.

But now I want to know, or at least, I want you to think about it: what songs changed the game for you?